First things first, I must be clear.  He left me.  He wanted to be alone.  Except now he is living with my Father's widow (she is a few years older than my husband), 700 miles away.  I guess my main point is that this was HIS choice.

So tonight when I get a phone call telling me he is at the hospital trying to get admitted into the Behavioral Science Unit because he is suicidal, I don't know how to respond.  I hate that he is so miserable, I really do.  I also know that this is one thing I cannot help him with.  Not that he even wants me to.

He doesn't know that anyone notified me.  He told my daughter he was ready to go to the hospital because he had been writing a suicide note to me and thought that was a bad sign.  Kind of an understatement there.

I am sad and I am angry.  Sad that he is in such pain, and angry that he cast me out of his life yet still wants to keep me tethered.  I just don't know what the answer is.  I hope someone there can help him.